“The function of muscle is to pull and not to push, except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.” Leonardo da Vinci

So there we were, sitting on the bed late at night.  My husband looked me deep in the eyes and said "You do me first and then I'll take care of you."

I bit my lower lip.  "Okay.  Let me get the stuff and I'll rub it in for you."  Reaching for the tube of magical ointment that has been a staple in our bedroom for several years now, I carefully popped the cap and squeezed a generous dose out on my hand.  Soon there were moans and groans and things were being rubbed until they felt good- really good!  This is a nightly routine in my house.

I am of course talking about rubbing down aching muscles with BenGay.  What did you think I was talking about?

At times like this I'm reminded of my Great-Great Uncle Albert.  My Grandmother's Uncle and Aunt lived in a trailer next door to my grandparent's house.  I would visit occasionally in the hopes of getting a piece of candy or a pudding cup.  There was a very distinct smell when you entered their home.  It was a mix of menthol and vitamins.  My Great-Great Uncle was a firm believer in the powers of natural medicine, and apparently menthol rub was the most powerful thing there was.  It must have worked well for him, because he hung around for quite a long time.

I didn't understand why they practically marinated in the stuff... until I hit forty.  Now I see a vibrating adjustable bed as a necessity, rather than a luxury.  I make decisions on what to have for dinner by whether it will give me heartburn (or even worse, gas).  I actually find myself struggling to stay up to see the end of late night television and waking up earlier every morning....whether I need to or not. Such are the burdens of old age.

I know, I yammer on and on about getting old.  Well, to quote a wise old sage, "I've never been this old before."

Getting older is something we all do, if were lucky.  Some of us are just better at doing it than others. The reality of not being twenty-something is a little hard to come to grips with at times.  One of those times is when I remind myself of my Great-Great Uncle.  Where ever you are Uncle Albert, I hope they have plenty of  BenGay!

It is easy to get a thousand prescriptions but hard to get one single remedy. ~Chinese Proverb

When I was a child, they banned the advertising of cigarettes on television.  Hard liquor had long been under a self ban from the boob tube, although beer and wine commercials could be seen during evening programing.  In the beginning of this century, television reviewed their alcohol policy and decided the money to be gained far outweighed any moral implications.  Cigarette ads still aren't shown on television, but there is something even worse spreading like a virus on the advertising airwaves.

I am talking about direct to consumer advertising of name brand prescription drugs.  I challenge you to watch one hour of commercial television and not be bombarded by any number of ads for boner-pills, downers, and uppers.  But they aren't called that.  They have the much more clinical names like erectile dysfunction, sleep aids, and anti-depression medication. All of them urge the listeners to ask their doctor specifically for this or that drug by name.

I know... there are legitimate diseases out there and an educated consumer should be involved with their physical health and well being.  But these commercials are not out there to educate you.  They are there to scare you  and make you paranoid.  "Do you open and close your eyes constantly.  You could be suffering from DES, or Dry Eye Syndrome.  Studies show that nearly everyone will suffer from this and not even be aware of it.  But with this new pill taken twice daily, you will never have to worry about that ever again.  Ask your doctor..."

Listening to the possible side effects can be even scarier.  I think I'd rather have the disease than the cure.  But that's just it.  These aren't cures, they are coping mechanisms and symptom covers.  One can take so many DTCA (direct to consumer advertised) medications, that they forget what their initial problem was.  You may start out with just a general feeling of blah, but the pill you take for that makes you nauseous so you take another pill...which gives you the jitters, so you take another pill but it makes you angry so there is yet another pill to take to mellow you out....which was your complaint in the first place!

Maybe what I'm really mad about is the fact that so many people believe they can make life better if they swallow a pill.  Addiction to prescription drugs seems to be on the rise.  Add to that the fact that most pharmaceutical companies aren't as interested in helping their fellow man as increasing their profit margins.  We are once again besieged by snake oil salesman....but these guys have a wider audience thanks to television.

Gone are the days of Jonas Salk, the doctor credited with bringing the Polio epidemic to an end.  He chose not to profit off of his discovery.  It was more important to help others than to take advantage of their pain and suffering.  I doubt his portrait hangs in GlaxoSmithKline or CIALIS®'s front office.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ~Herm Albright

I have a friend who makes a habit of finding the "beauty-full" things in her life.  She isn't a tranquil soul sitting isolated on a rock while contemplating the sound of one hand clapping.  She is a single mother, much put upon middle manager, and the type who plays Russian Roulette with her finances.  Her car breaks down, car keys get lost, and someone always puts the empty milk jug back in the fridge.  She has the same frustrations we all do....difference is she doesn't let them pile up on her.

She takes the problems as they come but doesn't allow them to take up residence.  When the car sputters and stops working, she doesn't tear out her hair and burst into tears.  Instead she welcomes the kind stranger who stops along the side of the road to offer assistance.  She welcomes the trip to the miracle working mechanic who puts things right in the machine and allows her to pay out the cost.  She reveals in the love and concern given by her offspring who come to her aide.

Man, is that annoying.

Oh, don't get me wrong.  She is no saint.  She can be self-indulgent, self-critical, and selfish when it comes to chocolate ice cream.  She can cuss like a sailor and likes to tell dirty jokes just to see you blush.  Occasionally important things get put on a back burner until she has to no other choice but to deal with them.  She can throw up so many romantic roadblocks that only the truly valiant can surmount them...and even then there is a fire breathing dragon to contend with because she has been hurt before.

But even with those foibles, she is an optimist.  She looks for something good even as she prepares herself for the bad.  In a sea of overwhelming demands and problems, she finds an island of hope.  I admire that.  She knows that no matter what path she has to walk down, no matter how dark or rocky it may be, there is a destination.  And she finds joy as she walks it, despite the stones in her shoes or the blisters on her feet.

I think I shall try to annoy some people today too.