There is all the difference in the world between having something to say and having to say something. ~ John Dewey

Communication is the imparting of information and ideas.  It does not require an exchange between two entities.  Conversation is the interchange of information and ideas but requires a give and take between two or more entities.  

In this modern day, there are numerous ways to communicate.  We talk on phones, we send instant messages, texts and tweets.  We telecommute and video chat and e-mail.  We update our status and post pictures of our latest escapades on social networking sites. 

Occasionally we even speak face to face and on the rarest of occasions we might send a letter.

The 21st century has brought about a world where human beings are no longer separated by space and time. We communicate instantaneously. Twenty-four hours a day and seven days a week, virtual villagers roam the globe electronically.  We connect over vast distances. We exchange ideas, share our lives and create communities that are void of human touch, yet rich in thought and imagination.
But are we better off?  While we have several ways to communicate, we are forgetting how to converse.  It's a general observation and a focused self-criticism since I find I am losing the art of conversation myself. 

I recently bumped into an old high school friend while out shopping over the holidays.  (I use the term friend because that is his status on my social networking site... not acquaintance or some guy I had a couple of classes with twenty years ago.)  For lack of a better word, I was struck with stage fright.   I didn't know what to say.  Thanks to the wonderful inventions of Facebook and Myspace, I already knew quite a lot about what he has been up to over the past twenty years.  Even so, I didn't think it prudent to ask about his divorce, how he was doing since being laid off, or even about the wild party last week.  I'd already seen the pictures.

In the course of advertising the details of our lives, I am concerned that we may be in the process of making conversation obsolete. I don't need to ask about your vacation because you have already tweeted about every landmark, giant ball of twine and roadside museum. Those little ear bud phones seem to require loud conversations in public spaces about private matters. Why send Christmas or birthday cards through the mail when you can just post it to your home page or zap it through your e-mail at the last minute? I've been at gatherings and watched several people bent over their phones texting madly while ignoring the person seated next to them. Or even worse, they are texting each other at the party. To someone that straddles the world between iPhones and the days when television only had about 6 channels, this is bizarre behavior. But to my 12 year old this is quite normal.

We are becoming a generation of screen watchers.  We have to dot our communiques with LOL in order to let the reader know that something is a joke.  More and more children are finding it hard to discern the emotions of others simply because they are not attuned to facial expressions and body language as being a part of conversations.  (and yes, the irony of blogging this topic is not lost on the author...LOL)

What is my suggestion to stop this?  Maybe we should put down the Blackberry or Iphone when we are within two feet of another living, breathing human being.  Perhaps instead of forwarding me a picture of your food, invite me to dinner.  Instead of alerting everyone that you are at the coffee shop with Joel, give Joel your full attention and enjoy your coffee. 

Don't get me wrong, I get a strange sense of fulfillment being able to tag little comments onto status updates or posted photos.  I've reconnected with some old friends that time and circumstances had moved out of my life.  But I actually find it sad to say that while there are hundreds of people with the friend status on my Facebook page, I only really talk face to face with about a dozen of them. 

I guess the upside to all of this hyper-connectedness is that the Internet has saved many a soul from the alienation and loneliness that can sometimes come with the inadequacies of life.

And that's the difference between having something to say and feeling like you just have to say something.

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old. Mary Schmich

They say you are only as old as you feel.

I will be forty years old in a few days.  That is the physical age of my body, but not my true age.  In my mind, I'm still a twenty something.  (I'm also about fifty pounds lighter and have no grey hair, but that's another post.) 

I've known people in their eighties who are still full of vim and vigor, setting out on new adventures on a daily basis.  Likewise, I've also come across young kids who are so stodgy and set in their ways that they seem to be decades older.  The happiest seem to be the ones living life like they are younger than their actual age.

Now, I'm not living in denial.  I know my body is getting older.  My knees are starting to creak when they bend.  I make involuntary noises getting up out of chairs.  I wake up in the morning and go to bed at night earlier and earlier.  But I'm not dead yet!

So, with this knowledge in my mind, I make a vow.  I vow to keep my eye on the future without forgetting the past.  I will seek out new adventures. I will not let disappointments from the past prevent me from doing things in the present.  I will sing and dance with the carefree abandon of childhood.  I will share my knowledge with others, but I wont expect them to listen.

Happy birthday to me and to all of my fellow Sagittariuses.  To everyone else.... have a very happy un-birthday to you!

“If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one.” Mother Teresa

How many times does this happen?

You are on your way out to dinner and you get stopped by a red light.  There you are in your air conditioned car listening to music on the Ipod or chatting on your cell phone.  Outside your window is some person, male or female, who looks like they haven't showered in a month holding a sign.  Inevitably it says something about being hungry.  "Me too," you think as you contemplate which steak you are going to get and if you should get everything on your baked potato.  The light seems to last forever as the pathetic excuse for a human being stares hopefully from driver to driver.  Eyes forward so you don't make contact, you punch the gas once the light shifts from red to green.  Now that that bit of unpleasantness is behind you, you can enjoy your evening.

I'm not going to lie to you and say that isn't me.  I've stared straight ahead many times, embarrassed to be at that light.  But I've also been happy to be caught by the light too. 

I don't have excess money lying around waiting to be handed to the down and out.  There are have been low times in my life when I contemplated which corner would be best for me to stand with my own sign.  Luckily I've never fallen quite that far, though.  And that is what goes through my mind while I stare at the red light.  "Thank God that's not me...but it could be."

I'm not advocating for you to hand out hundred dollar bills when you see these people, or even all your spare change .  What I suggest is that you do like one of my friends.  He keeps a couple of bottles of water and some cheese crackers in his car within easy reach at all times.  When he comes to a stop light and he sees some one, he grabs a bottle and a packet of crackers and hands it out the window.  It's not much, but it is a start.

Now, the cynical of you out there may say it's all a scam.  That most of the people standing on the corner are just lazy or down right liars praying on the bleeding hearts and guilty consciouses of the passersby.  I'm not so naive that I don't know some of them are. 

I once read an article in the Dallas Newspaper that interviewed some of the homeless beggars there.  On a good corner, the interviewee claimed, you can earn $140 a day.  That works out to over $36,000 a year... more than I'm making.  But the article also went on to document the truly needy out there.  Those people who are hungry.  Hungry for food, a job, a safe place to live, love, understanding.  Not every person on the corner is an addict or con artist.  

I know I can't save everyone.  But if I can help ease one fellow human beings pangs of hunger, I'll try.  I've handed out burgers before, and received a real smile and thanks.  The good feeling only increased when I saw the gentleman break the burger in half and share it with another man with a sign on the adjacent corner.  I had truly helped someone. 

My challenge for you is to follow Mother Teresa's advice.  Help feed one person. 

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” Frederick Keonig

This week is Thanksgiving.  It is a time that many families gather together and consume enormous amounts of calories, watch football, and pass out from a food coma in the Lazy Boy.  It's also a time to count your blessings and express your gratitude.

For many people, Thanksgiving is a singular day.  Oh sure, they may say prayers of thanks before Sunday dinners through out the year, but it is usually done quickly and by rote.  It is something said because it is expected, but not because they truly feel thankful. 

We are a generation of wanters. We want more, bigger, better.  We have been brainwashed into thinking that what we have is not enough.  If we accept what we have, it means we relinquish any claim on more.  That someone else who has more is happier.  Keeping up with the Jones's is not the goal anymore, we have to pass them and rub their noses in it.  I have to admit, I sometimes succumb to the desire for more than I have.  I'm not proud of it.

Of the people in my life, it seems that the happiest are those that are thankful each and every day.  They see every thing, every person, every incident in their lives as a gift.  I'm sure they have wants and needs that drive them forward, but they don't overlook the things that life has already brought them.  They appreciate.  They are joyous.  They are thankful. 

I want to be more like them.  Sometimes I see it.  I look at the bounty that is my life and am truly amazed.  I know that I am blessed.  I have a roof over my head and food in my pantry.  I have a wonderful husband and son.  My parents are both still alive and healthy and I have an amazing extended family.  Although not numerous, my friends are loving and loyal. 

I am thankful for these things, but I'm also thankful for the challenges.  I am thankful for the hard homework that makes my son ask for help.  I am thankful for my husbands cold that has him looking at me like an angel when I bring him crushed ice.  I am thankful for the endless list of tasks at work that leave me exhausted and feeling accomplished. 

What are you thankful for?

There are whole years for which I hope I'll never be cross-examined, for I could not give an alibi. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Pardon my lateness in posting to this blog.   I have (and have not) been busy. 

I recently started a new part time job.  It monopolizes a whopping 25 hours of my week.  I am left with only 143 hours left in the week.  Subtract 56 hours for sleep (if I'm lucky), 21 hours for the preparation and eating of meals, 20 hours on line with e-mail and Facebook, 19 hours reading or watching television, 10 hours running errands and grocery shopping, 7 hours for health and beauty functions, 6 hours walking the dog, and at least 4 hours of 'quality' time with the family. 

Okay, so some of the times are estimations and may overlap each other.  Truth is I seem to pack a lot of nothing into my week.  I lay in bed at night, tired and exhausted, but can't seem to say what I've accomplished.  I know I can't be alone in this.

Granted, I'm not the Uber Mom who has a color coded chart cross referenced with sticky notes and entered into her blackberry detailing every move of every family member.  I've always been a go with the flow kind of gal.  My question is, do you really benefit by such meticulous structuring of your life?  By cramming more in, what do you gain?

I think every now and then you have to have nothing to do.  A little down time.  By not over scheduling yourself, you give yourself permission to enjoy the time as it passes.  It allows you to actually experience things and perhaps make a lasting memory.  I encourage you to reduce your schedules and increase the time spent with the more important things...like your loved ones.

Four hours a week is not quality time!

“If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” Neil Peart (drummer for Rush)

Article first published as Nuggets of Wisdom: Choice on Technorati.

It happened the other day. I stood in a grocery store aisle staring at a plethora of cereal, completely overwhelmed, for what seemed like an hour. This choice was so much easier to make when I was younger.

There were fewer choices back then, and I was able to narrow the field even more by seeing what toy was offered inside the box. That's how kids choose these things, after all. The real problem arose when there was more than one special offer for a particular cereal.

I guess in some ways having an overwhelming amount of choices is better than having too few or none at all.  I know I get extremely grumpy when I'm told I have to do this or go there or do that with no options available.  Very few people like not having the ability to make decisions for themselves.  It leads to dissatisfaction and disobedience.

Equally as upsetting is being offered a choice between two things that are essentially the same thing.  An example might be our two party system of government here in America.  Both parties try to tell you that they are unique.  One claims to be a white horse with black stripes and the other one is proud to be a black horse with white stripes.  The truth is they are both zebras.

It all comes down to choice.  If we are given too many,  we become overwhelmed and find making a decision nearly impossible.  If we are given no choice, we become angry and seek retribution.    But even if we choose not to take the choices offered to us, we have still chosen.

What ever options you are given in life....chose wisely.

"I see you shiver with antici-..." Tim Curry as Dr. Frank N. Furter in 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'

Article first published as Nuggets of Wisdom- My Not--So-Secret Crush on Technorati.

This will come as no surprise to my friends or family.... I have crush on Tim Curry.


This comes up mostly during Halloween since revivals of 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' are so prolific this time of year.  Oddly enough, Rocky Horror was not my introduction to Mr. Curry.

I think the first time I saw him was in the movie 'Clue.'  Always a sucker for comedy, I loved his quirky character.  It was during promo interviews for the movie that I learned about his earlier movie and his singing career.  I was intrigued.

I then saw him in the movie 'Legend.'  He played Darkness, complete with horns and a latex enhanced physique.  Yum.  Even though the body and the voice were enhanced, there was an allure.  I became mildly obsessed with Tim. (Seeing as how he was starting to play a part in some of my dreams, I think I should be on a first name basis with him.)

I began hearing his voice in cartoons, commercials, books on tape, and guest appearances on television.  He even did a movie with the Muppets.  Now he was in the big time!  Even though his characters were varied, there was a certain sexy Tim-ness in everything he did.


Then came the horrible realization.  He is the same age as my father.  <gasp>  Can a man old enough to be your father be 'sexy'?  How about when he gets a little pudgy and no longer looks good in a bustier?  Can you still have a crush if you're not even sure if you and your crushie play on the same team.


The answer is YES.  A crush is not about the crushie.  It is about the fantasy we develop around the object of our crush.  Tim Curry will forever be the Grand Wizard from 'The Worst Witch' to me.  I will strut my stuff to his crooning of "Sweet Transvestite."  I would listen to him read the phone book with relish if he chose to do it.  It's not about him, it's about me.

Ultimately that is the problem with so many crushes.  We get caught up in our fantasy version of the other person.  Maybe that is why so many people have difficulty staying in relationships.  They fall in love with the crush and then are crushed by the reality.  I am, however, content to crush from the distance of time and space.  I will hold onto my fantasy but not begrudge the reality.  There is room for both in my world.

Oh, yeah....

                               "......-pation!"

"You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don't." Dagwood Bumstead (Blondie comics)

Article first published as Nuggets of Wisdom - Lazy Sundays on Technorati.

Ah, Sunday.  It is a wonderfully lazy sort of day.  A day for sipping coffee and reading the comics section of the paper.  Most weekend social activities are crammed into Friday evening and all day Saturday, leaving Sunday as a day of rest.  Even if you spend your morning at church there is still the afternoon and plenty of time before you have to return to the grind of the work week.

I don't need a specific day to be lazy.  If given free range, I can make any day as unproductive and non-taxing as your typical Sunday.  If there is a hammock nearby and book handy, forget about me for at least five hours.

There are still certain demands made on my day.  I have a dog whose internal alarm clock tells me when it's time to get up and go for a walk.  She doesn't care if it's the weekend or a holiday.  She stubbornly refuses to learn how to hop on the toilet and flush afterwords.

Then there are mouths to feed.  Luckily, my son is getting of that age where he can fend for himself.  But in order for him to be self sufficient, there needs to be food in the kitchen for him to scavenge, so I guess a trip to the grocery is needed.  As long as I'm there, I'll just pick up something special for dinner.  A little time over the stove won't be too bad.

Oh yeah, there is the pesky laundry to do.  Must have clean clothes for the new work week.  At the very least underwear should be done, just in case anyone gets into an accident.  But it's just as easy to do three loads as one, so it all gets done.

As long as we're cleaning things, those dishes are starting to pile up and the dog could use a bath.  It wouldn't hurt to do a once over of my son's room.  And if I've already got the vacuum out for his room, why not continue on to the other rooms.

Hmmmm, this lazy Sunday isn't turning out exactly as I had planned.

But that's the way it is.  In my youth it was more fun to be lazy.  I could spend the day watching bad movies or climbing trees in the yard.  Now I feel guilty.  I'll still find time to lay on the couch and spend some time with a good book or catch an old movie....but it will have to be after some of those 'adult' things get done.

Ah, Bumstead, you are a true artist and I tip my hat to you.

 

The Body of B. Franklin Printer, Like the Cover of an Old Book, Its Contents Torn Out And Stripped of its Lettering and Gilding, Lies Here Food for Worms, - Benjamin Franklin

 Article first published as Nuggets of Wisdom: Afterlife on Technorati.

The Body of B. Franklin Printer,
Like the Cover of an Old Book,
Its Contents Torn Out
And Stripped of its Lettering and Gilding,
Lies Here Food for Worms,
But the Work shall not be Lost,
For it Will as He Believed
Appear Once More
In a New and more Elegant Edition
Revised and Corrected
By the Author
- Benjamin Franklin

This epitaph was written by Mr. Franklin at the ripe ol' age of 22, but was never used.  I agree with the sentiment he expressed concerning both life and death.  Aren't we all constantly writing our biographies?  Sometimes the plot is slow and plodding, sometimes it is full of beauty and wit, occasionally it might get a bit steamy.

But when we are no more, after the last 'The End' is penned, what happens to us?  It is the question that has spun a million religious quandaries.  I like Mr Franklin's belief, or perhaps my interpretation of his beliefs.
I prefer to see my life not as a single solitary story, but as a series whose total is measured in numerous volumes.  When the first book is over, it's cover worn and torn and the pages dog eared, a new one is written.  The first story is necessary for the second to make sense.  Lessons learned in one book are put to good use in the future adventures.  And when that story has reached it's denouement we start a new volume.

I don't think we are discarded and forgotten to a shelf to gather dust.  I like to believe that we are rebound much like Mr. Franklin suggests.  The original typos that plagued our stories are edited and the content is made to flow gently from chapter to chapter.  I look forward to the compilation of my stories.  All of the seemingly unconnected tragedies, fantasies, and romances rebound together and offered unabridged.  I don't know how many printings I'll get- none of us do.

My only hope is that someday someone will look at me and the lessons I've lived and learned over many stories and lives, and find something of value to their own story.  I hope I leave behind a life worth reading.

A special thanks to Mr. Ben Franklin.  He was a book binder and the father of America's first lending library.  He left a life worth reading and I hope is currently rebound and reissued.

"Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power." - P. J. O'Rourke

Article first published as Nuggets of Wisdom: Greed on Technorati.

How wonderful the world would be if there was some sort of litmus test that would weed out those people afflicted by the diseases of stupidity, ignorance, and greed. I know I would get hit every now and then with the stupidity or ignorance portion, but hopefully not the greed.

Greed is defined by dictionary.com as "excessive or rapacious desire, esp. for wealth or possessions."

Don't get me wrong, I like my stuff, but I don't need to own everything I see.  I usually try my best not to take everything offered.  I always want to save some for others.  I fear that is not the case for some out there....and I don't know why.

I can understand if you come from a background of not having something.  When the opportunity comes along, you take what you can and maybe a little more just in case it doesn't come along again.  I've read that a tribe of Pygmies living in the jungle will gorge themselves on bananas when they come across them because they never know if and when they will come across such bounty again.

The part I have trouble wrapping my head around is the large number of haves out there who grab as much as they can just to keep it from anyone else.  Why do they feel the need to take more than they need or can use?  What good does it do a man to gain all just to lose his soul (to badly paraphrase)?

It is a double-edged sword because when greed comes in and tries to take all the pie, it teaches the others waiting patiently for their share that they need to jump in, forks flying, to get some before it's all gone.  The more greed grows, the fewer crumbs are left for the rest.

Too bad there isn't a 12 step program out there.  It might someday become fashionable to sequester yourself in a rehab facility to get over your greed addiction.

"Two men looked out from prison bars, one saw the mud, the other saw the stars." Frederick Langbridge

Article first published as Nuggets of Wisdom - It Is All A Matter of Perspective on Technorati.

The above quote is a lovely little poem about optimism and pessimism. But I think it is about more than just that.

I am constantly amazed at how two people can look at one event and come up with two different ideas of what is going on. How you look at any situation is based on your past experiences and future expectations.
Take our two prisoners from above. Could it be that the one gazing longingly up at the stars is finding his escape in beauty or God? Or is it just as likely that the one staring at the ground is looking for a more terrestrial means of escape...perhaps a weakness in the prison or even a key dropped by a negligent guard? Two possibilities in one event.

It sort of makes sense. I mean after all, there is night and day, left and right, up and down. But is one view point innately better than the other? I don't think so. It could be that looking at a problem from a different angle might give you an insight in how to correct it or make it work for you.

                                  

The same goes for those wonderful optical illusions we have all seen.  It all depends on how you look at something.  Do you focus on the light or dark of a situation?  Is it a problem or an opportunity?  The correct answer is of course that it is both... and neither.  It is what you make of it.

Personally I prefer to play the roll of the optimist.  I want to see the silver lining in the clouds, but I know full well that in order to do that I have to suffer the storm.  We all know that it takes a little rain to make the rainbow.


Read more: http://technorati.com/blogging/article/nuggets-of-wisdom-it-is-all/#ixzz12ArD4cYU

"Life in general sucks, so you have to make your life not so general." Kristi Fojtik

Article first published as Nuggets of Wisdom on Technorati.

A good friend of mine told me that in college. It struck me at the time as being quite profound, especially coming from someone barely twenty years old.

Over the years I had forgotten this little pearl of wisdom. I had written it down in my book of quotes, tucked it on a shelf, and then went on about my life. I sought the middle ground. The happy medium between greatness and failure. I plodded through life with no major sorrow or accomplishments. I lead a general life. And it sucks.

Don't get me wrong, I love what I have. I could not see my life with out my husband and son. They are the steadfast normality I need to keep me sane. But there are nights I stare into myself and ask "What could have been?"

It's not too late. The dance isn't over until the last note dies away into silence. Each of us has the potential to pull away from the herd and show the world what makes us special.

I'm not talking major life altering moves. No selling all your belongings and moving to a cave. No midlife crisis splurges that ruin your credit score. Not even plastic surgery.
You can make your life special little by little. Maybe it's going to a restaurant you've never been to. Maybe it's volunteering for some project you normally wouldn't try. It could be as simple as wearing brighter colors when everyone about you is wearing drab ones. Step by step you move from the general into the spectacular.

The choice is yours. To be one of thousands of lights in the sky....or the shooting star that others wish on.

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” Aristotle

I remember crying when I was younger, thinking I would never meet the one person who made me whole.  It seemed everyone around me was in a 'relationship'.  Although happy in all other aspects of my life, I knew there was something missing.  And then I met him. 

It wasn't love at first sight.  Sure there was a physical attraction, but I know the difference between love and lust.  I've had friends who didn't know that difference and later learned it the hard way.  Even with that hard earned knowledge, they continued to throw themselves out there with abandon....because they too felt that longing to make a connection.  The satisfaction of completion.

I think of our relations with people, and in particular the relations with our significant others, like a jigsaw puzzle.  Sometimes the pieces fit together easily, but the picture doesn't make sense.  Sometimes you know it just has to fit, but try as hard as you like you can't get them to come together.  Sometimes it takes many pieces interlocking before you can guess what the picture is supposed to look like.  Sometimes there is only one piece that could ever fit.

I want everyone to find the matching piece that completes the puzzle of their lives.  Sometimes that other piece is a gorgeous member of the opposite sex who shares your beliefs and wants exactly the same things out of life as you.  Sometimes they might be your complete opposite, but the compliment that balances you and keeps you from going to far.  They may be the same sex.  They may be a different race.  They may be mentally or physically challenged.  It doesn't matter when you get right down to it.  Two halves make a whole, and we all want to be whole people....don't we? 

Finding your soul mate in a population of billions is difficult enough without putting up roadblocks and stipulations as to why they can't be.  Love is a wonderful thing.  Everyone deserves it.

Happy Anniversary to my husband and soul mate! Although we may question exactly where all the pieces go, I wouldn't want to put this puzzle together with anyone else but you.

To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life. ~W. Somerset Maugham

I love to read.

This is not news for my friends and family.  I read in the morning waiting for my son to get ready for school.  I read at lunch while blindly shoveling food in my mouth.  I read at night, eyes burning with tiredness but refusing to close them.  I have to admit, I have on occasion even read and drove. 
(Disclaimer:  I do not condone actually reading while the car is in motion.  You should strictly wait until you get to a light.  And if you have to slow down to make sure you get caught by the light, who's to know?)

Books are wonderful things.  The wonders they contain are not diminished by their consumption.  If any thing it grows with in you as you read.  The story in a good book draws you in.  No matter what is going on in my life, be it a doctor's appointment or a fight with my hubby, a book gets me though it.  I find myself repeating dialog and picturing myself as the characters.  The action that takes place within my head is better than any TV show or movie. 

That's why so many people tell you 'The book was better."  It's because they were the director and every actor in their version of the book.  Let's see Brad Pitt do that!

Books take you to places with out the need of a passport or gas.  They teach and entertain, sometimes at the same time.  Books are the repositories of friends you wish you had and enemies you are glad you don't.  They contain a wealth of knowledge and a bundle of lies.  Books are not kindling!

Books should not be feared but cherished and cultivated.   In this modern digital age, old fashioned paper books are going the way of the dinosaur.  I personally feel a loss at this.  True, a nice book on tape might prevent me from rear-ending you on the highway; but cuddling up with a good computer screen in bed does nothing for me.  Call me old fashioned, but I like the comfort of turning a page.

We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another. Jonathan Swift

Today is Sunday.  It's a day that many people put on uncomfortable clothes, gather in large groups, nod in agreement to the people speaking loudly in front of them....... then forget everything they heard for the rest of the week.  Why? 

I am an atheist... of a sort.

It's not that I don't believe in God.  I do. 

What I have trouble believing in is man.  In particular, religious men.  I find it difficult to take people seriously who think they are able to call themselves great 'Christians' (or 'Jews' or 'Muslims' or what have you) simply because they went and got their attendance card punched. 

Too often organized religion gives a false sense of superiority.  When you boil it down, we are all children squabbling on the playground.  "My God is bigger than your God!"  The sad truth is, when all is said and done, they are the same God.  The divergences come from the trappings put on the universal message by men 'in the know'. 

The message is muddied by the messengers for various reasons.  It is perverted to justify why I'm better than you.  It gives validation for the actions of tyrants and dictators.  It is used as an invisibility cloak to hide sins.  Sometimes it is just simple misunderstandings that get repeated wrong over and over until no one knows what the original message was.

I like to think of religion as Baskin Robbins.  There are many flavors offered up for all to sample and choose from.  Some choose elaborate sundaes complete with three flavors, hot fudge, whipped cream, nuts and a cherry.  Some choose a single scoop of vanilla.  Some come for a scoop every week.  Some seek it out in times of stress.  And still others are content with just a taste from the little pink sample spoon.  But it's all ice cream.  I love ice cream, but the ice cream doesn't want me to go to war in it's name.  I also know a diet of only ice cream is not healthy for anyone.

God is the ice cream.  Enjoy responsible.

Listen to the MUSTN'T, child. Listen to the DON'Ts. Listen to the SHOULDN'Ts, The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'Ts. Listen to the NEVER HAVEs, Then listen close to me-- Anything can happen, child, ANYTHING can be." Shel Silverstein

I have always loved this poem.  It lifts me up.  It tells me that it doesn't matter what everyone else says....I can do it.

There are always people out there saying what we can't do.  Often times those people live inside our heads.  It's easier to find reasons not to do something than to find the strength and courage to do them. 

Maybe it's fear that stops us.  The fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of disappointment.  But if you never try then you will never know, you have failed, and you will definitely be disappointed. 

Where would we be today if Galileo had believed that the Earth CAN'T revolve around the Sun?  If the Wright brothers believed that man COULDN'T fly.  If countless scientists thought that since men NEVER HAVE walked on the moon it was not worth trying.  Who knows what wonderful things are going to come simply because someone doesn't know it's IMPOSSIBLE. 

Anyone who tells you 'you can't' has probably never tried.  Don't let their fears become yours. 

A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants. Mark Twain

"The check is in the mail"....."No, that outfit does not make you look fat."...."And if I'm elected I promise ..."

People lie for many reasons.  Some times it is done with good intentions in mind.  No one wants to hurt a friends feelings by telling them they don't look good.  When asked 'How are you?', nine times out of ten you will answer 'Fine' simply because you do not want to burden them with the pain in your big toe.  Little white lies to spare others feelings are not bad.  Like the ostrich, it's a way to avoid something unpleasant and hide our head in the sand.

There are those lies that are told in order to save face.  Many a little kid has sworn their dog ate the homework.  'Lost' e-mails and busy signals explain why we didn't call back.  Any number of illnesses allow us to miss those boring social events.  Even these little mistruths are not too terrible.

When the lies are told to hurt others....that's were it becomes a bad thing.  We nudge a small snowball over the cliff when we spread lies out of fear, anger or ignorance.  That lie rolls along picking up others in it's wake and becoming bigger and bigger.  The lie takes on a life of it's own, taking out the one it was aimed at but also leaving a path of unintended destruction in it's wake.

Even more disturbing is when we start to believe the lies we started.  The lies we tell ourselves and build our perspective of the world on is like quicksand.  It looks solid, but it slowly sucks us down until it swallows us whole.  We begin to not recognise truth when faced with it because it isn't as comforting as the lie we have constructed.  I'm not saying I don't lie.  I lie just as much as the next guy.  But I am a firm believer in that the truth shall set you free too.

So in the name of freedom:

I've never known a dog to eat homework unless it had been smeared with something yummy like peanut butter and ostriches do not stick their heads in the sand.  That is a lie.

"What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy." Voltaire

My son's birthday is this week.

He is 'middle' aged... a tween.  That awkward time where he is no longer a child but not quite old enough to do anything fun.  He can't wait until the day he can get a job, drive, and play 'M' rated games.  Simple goals that will come all too soon for me. 

I'm approaching my 'middle' age as well.  In a few months I will hit the big 4-O.  I'll be quite honest... I remember a time when I thought thirty was old, forty was ancient, and fifty was dead.  Those estimations have been pushed back extensively. 

As the years have gone by, we as a nation have changed our ideas of what youth and old age are.  Those who used to chant  'don't trust anyone over thirty' are now stating that sixty is the new thirty.  Although not aimed at me yet, I am bombarded by ads for any number of pills designed to reverse the tell-tale signs of age.  We dye our hair and get implants.  We tuck and trim and suck away the accumalation of years.  All in a vain attempt to remain forever young. 

But the young have just the opposite problem.  They are being made to grow up quicker and quicker.  Hormones in our livestock carry over into our food supply causing children to reach puberty at an earlier age.  I watch in horror at the baby pagents where children as young as two and three are dolled up in revealing outfits and made to sashey down a runway with enough makeup to put Tammy Fae to shame.  Reality shows bombard our children with the most sensational and the lowest of the low depictions of human behavior which these kids then emulate.

Why can't we ever be happy with how old we are?  Why do we idolize that mythic 'perfect' age?  I hope that I can grow old gracefully.  I'm in no hurry to go forward, but I'm not seeking a time machine that will return me my wasted youth. 

The trick is to enjoy the present and not fret about what will be or what used to be.  It's something I have to remember in regards to my son, too.  There are days when I wish he was small enough to cuddle. I remember building towns together with Lego's for him to later smash like a pint sized Godzilla. Those days are long gone. Today I have a preteen whose body is changing as quickly as his ideas about the world around him.  It's hard not to tell him to grow up when he is acting a little annoying.  I only hope that I don't try to hold him back or push him along that path too quickly.  Neither of us wants to be old before our time.

Which reminds me of another quote (lucky you...two for the price of one).  Bernard M. Baruch said, 'To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am."  So I will never reach old age. A-ha, I have found the fountain of youth. 

“Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.”

We've all seen it before....Joe wuz here with a date....Bob + Sue = 4ever....or maybe its a leaf pressed down ...or an errant hand or footprint.  There is something about wet cement that calls out to us.  Makes us want to make our mark in it for eternity.  So it is with children, but also every person you encounter.  They are the newly poured sidewalk we pass by on our way through life. 

Sometimes the cement is too wet.  We take a stick or our finger and try to carve out something profound....but it doesn't stick.  The surrounding cement rushes back in to fill our tampering.  Maybe there is a faint echo of what we tried to convey. It's subtle, but it's there.

Sometimes the cement is almost set.  It takes some work to get the thick surface to give way.  Usually when it's this thick, you dislodge pieces and are left with a jagged and rough message.  Indelibly marked, but painful to walk on and may trip you up if your not careful.

Sometimes it may be something dramatic.  I think back to those black and white movies where someone falls into the smooth fresh surface, usually face down.  Cement flies everywhere, sloshing out of it's defined boarders and covering the person who fell.  It's usually comedic to an outside observer, but I don't think the person covered in muck or the sidewalk ever laughed.

This tampering doesn't stop once the cement is dry.  If you look down a sidewalk you will see cracks and uneven parts.  Trees grow and their roots break apart thoughts and ideas you thought were 'set in stone'.  Other ideas and plants grow in these cracks.  Sometimes they bloom into beautiful flowers.  Sometimes we spritz them with weed killer and try to pull them out.

Every person is a sidewalk in varying stages of set.  Children are the newest and freshest.  Even if we don't feel the desire to etch  things into who they are, we still leave a mark by our passage.  Hopefully we wont trip and fall into them.  But a gentle hand, a loving message...these do not mar the surface of their life but adds to the beauty of it.  Helping them to move forward, section by section.  Joining other sidewalks to complete a journey and turning corners when they come to them. 

"When in doubt wear red". Bill Blass

Maybe it was the on-again-off-again rain today.  Maybe it was the fact I couldn't button the first pair of shorts I put on this morning.  Maybe it is the fact that I haven't been 'gainfully' employed in nearly a year.  What ever the cause, I wrestled with loathing and self doubt today. 

It's a vicious spiral, self doubt.  You think you don't deserve good things.  You think you can't do anything...so you just don't try.  Since you didn't try yesterday, why bother today?  And so it goes until months have gone by and you have gone nowhere.  That's where I was today.   Nowhere. 

Sometimes you have to get your barrings.  You have to know where you are currently and where you want to go.  Tall enough order, but not nearly as hard as knowing who you are now and who you want to be when you get there.  I had to give that some thought.  It took a couple of bars of chocolate, but I think I came up with some answers.

Who 'I am' is a wife and mother, occasional creative spirit, and constant seeker of truth and beauty.  Who I want to be is a lover and teacher, perpetual creative spirit, and distributer of truth and beauty.  Not too far apart, so that's a good start.  In order to bridge over the present and land in the desired future, I have to change my own perceptions of who I am. 

'How do you do that?', I imagine you asking.  Well, you have to start small.  It's like throwing a small pebble into the water.  It makes a little ripple that makes another ripple, and another, and another.....  I start by paying a little more attention to my appearance.  I shave my legs, put on matching underware, spritz on some of my favorite perfume, or wear my favorite color.  Little things that no one else might notice, but I do.  It changes how I think about myself and how I move through the world around me.  I start the first ripple.

The next ripple might be as simple as looking someone in the eyes.  I am not saying the quick check to see if they are listening or counting how many crows feet they have.  Actually looking into someone's eyes and noticing how they dialate and the little flecks of color that radiate out of even the plainest pupils.  They eyes are the windows to the soul, some say.  Take a half a minute to actually ponder that while you peer in.  Ripple....

A breath comes next.  Not the normal unthinking in and out that oxinagates our blood, but a good deep cleansing breath.  One that fills every corner of your body going in and rushes out leaving you completely deflated before flowing back again.  Do that two or three times and you will feel the corners of your mouth lift with the inhale....that's a smile.  Ripple......

Show that smile as you move through the world.  Not the phoney smile we usually use to cover how uncomfortable we are.  This is a real smile.  It shows not only on your lips, but in your eyes and in the relaxed set of your shoulders and the tilt of your head.  This comfortable smile is contagious.  It infects those around you, makes them more comfortable too.  Ripple......

Before you know it, you are the person others want to be like.  And if they want to be like you, you must be pretty darn special.  And if you are special, you do deserve good things. 

Ripple, ripple, ripple....

“There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams." Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there.” Erma Bombeck

I love boxes.  I have several that I keep on my shelves. Large ones and small ones; wooden, ceramic, and stone. Some hold treasures ...but most are empty.  Gifts come in boxes.  They hold potential; anything can be inside. 

Important things are kept in boxes like jewelry, chocolates, and crayons.

But these things aren't suppose to be boxed for ever.  They need to be brought out into the light to meet their full potential.  Like jewelry, dreams need the play of light to make them sparkle.  Like chocolates, they are meant to be savored and rolled around on the tongue until they become a part of you.  Like crayons, dreams need to be engaged in the creation of something beyond themselves.  When taken out of the box and used, these things grow and become something more than they were originally.  They are useless if kept inside a box where they will never tarnish or be used up.

Don't get me wrong.  I still love boxes.  In a way, we are the boxes for our dreams.  It's good to have a few of them inside, but they aren't meant to stay there for ever.  Like a bird in a cage, we must let our dreams out to fly from time to time. 

If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk. Raymond Inmon

I came across this quote the other day while seeking some creative inspiration myself.  It got me to thinking about those special places that stir me.  Certain places seem to resonate with energy.  Those places usually do not have a computer. 

 I don't walk often, as my slightly less than perfect frame can attest, but when I do I feel a stirring inside me.  My senses are forced to awaken in a way that sitting in front of a computer doesn't demand.  It has to do with the wind and the sun and the rustle of leaves.  All those free floating ions that my encapsulated workspace shields from me  rush in and check me out.  Little wisps of thoughts discarded by others flutter into my mind and say "what if...".  Something akin to giddiness starts to bubble in my heart.  I feel lifted up and anything seems to be possible.  Call it angels, call it chi, call it inspiration.  Call it what you want.  It is a special feeling similar to falling in love.

Most of the time this feeling is found in natural surroundings, but every once in a while it is found in man made structures.  I've walked into churches that hit me with waves of emotion...and I've been in some that were nothing more than brick and mortar buildings with no soul.  I've been in buildings that vibrated and those that seemed to suck the energy out of me.  I think the difference is in the people that inhabit these structures.  Their own stores of energy and love and inspiration are overflowing or depleted and they then begin to give or take from their souroundings.

It's osmosis...the energy is seeking a balance.  Some of us need more balance and the inrush of energy is invigorating.  I'm so thankful that nature has so much to give....but I know I have to seek it.  If we compartmentalize ourselves and seal ourselves away from those energy filled areas, perhaps in a fear that they will drain us, then we also deprive ourselves from refilling our own cup.

I think I'll go for a walk...

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Lao-tzu

And so too, my journey begins with this first step. 

I have never blogged before.  Nor have I tweeted or texted.  I know, shocking isn't it.  But here I am taking my first tentative step into this brave new world and getting my feet wet. 

My goal for this blog is to have a way of reaching out and sharing a little bit of myself and my thoughts with whom ever stumbles across this site.  I would love for it to inspire you.  To make you stop and re-examine something in your own life.  To spur you onto great things.  Heck, I would be happy if you just read it and go 'Hmmmm...'.


Each week I will take a quote that has some meaning to me and share it with you.  I hope you find it entertaining and at least a little enlightening.